The Art of Don the Con

Donald Trump’s Lesser-Known Failed Products: Trump Urine Test Kits

Following the Great Recession, many people learned this lesson the hard way: don’t pee on my leg and tell me it’s raining.

Photo by NIPYATA! on Unsplash

Before he was mixing presidential politics with personal quid pro quos, subpar-to-mediocre businessman Donald Trump was mixing his name and image (or, his brand) with a slew of crooked companies and poppycock products. This included everything from personalized vitamins to Vodka, steaks sold exclusively through The Sharper Image®, and vastly overpriced bronze chandeliers. It was during the Great Recession, 2009 specifically, when Americans were struggling just to make ends meet that Trump’s gilded path led him to Ideal Health, a company who sold “wellness” products.

Due to the financial crisis of 2007–2008, desperation was felt almost everywhere. It was a climate thick with vulnerability. And unfortunately, honest, hard-working Americans were ripe for get-rich-quick schemes. Donald Trump realized that. Then, like a vulture he swooped in to prey on those honest, hard-working Americans — many of whom would likely go on to vote for him as President seven years later.

One of the key items sold by Ideal Health was their “customized nutritional regimen,” consisting of vitamins and supplements allegedly tailored for each customer. That is, after they gave a urine sample and shipped it to a lab for urinalysis. In return (and for a hefty price), the lab would complete a urine hormone profile and send the report back to Ideal Health, who would then send “custom essentials” based on the person’s unique urine profile.

Although the PrivaTest kit for urine was created and already selling under the Ideal Health name, and despite his notoriety as a world-class germaphobe, Donald Trump saw a golden gambit. He stepped in to collaborate, and what resulted was a network of sorts, which would restructure the organization and rebrand all products with the Trump name. Including the PrivaTest kit for urine.

That’s right: there was once a Trump urine test kit.