The Futility of Attendance

Attendance at the office is one of the least-indicative proof points of someone’s efficacy at a job

Ed Zitron
Marker

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Photo by Gez Xavier Mansfield on Unsplash

In one of my early jobs, I had a particular manager that I quite literally never saw leave work. They were always there, always typing, always frowning, always dealing with something ranging from a slight annoyance to a full-blown crisis that they could never quite articulate. They were always making arbitrary demands, and I cannot remember in the time that I worked there any time when they were not some monstrous form of “busy.”

The person in question was also the least-productive human being I’ve ever had the misfortune of running into. Despite all of their demands of the lower-level staff, they continually failed to actually produce anything of their own beyond approving long, meandering and pointless documents. From my rough calculations, they “worked” over sixty hours a week, but I cannot to this day point to any specific thing they created.

I’ve met plenty of people like this person, and I’ve realized that they exist not to do anything, but to prove to do-nothing executives that work resembles the work that they believe got them to where they are today. Many executives simply don’t do any of the work that actually makes the company money, and they face a deep-seated anxiety as…

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